Thursday, May 27, 2010

I see all these moms writing letter... Where is mine?

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one - Jill Churchill

Dear Audrey,

I see so many new mothers writing letters to thier babies. I have tried and tried and it just doesnt come out right. I look at you and think and feel so many things I just cant get them to come out on paper (or screen) right. I cannot find the words to express how deeply I feel. I cant find just the right phrases. Even this isnt coming out the way I imagine. It seems as if words are not enough to tell you how much I love you, how I want the best for you, how I hope your happy... So even if you cant read it I hope you can feel it every day. It seems as if this love is beyond words. Its in the "million kisses". Its in the "I'm gonna get her". Its in the smiles and laughs. Its in the quiet moments when I watch you sleep. Its in the way I wake up just to listen to you breathe. Its the reason why I work so hard to make you happy. Its why I will stop what I'm doing to give you what you need. Its in every moment of every day.
I lose my patience time and again and I regret it. It is bound to happen I know, but I want you to feel loved every minute. I hate that my selfishness ruins some of those minutes. I hate when I would rather check my email or finish that TV show instead of taking the extra minutes to do something with you. Maybe its necessary to get away for a few minutes, but looking forward - I know I will look back and these moments can never be replaced.
So I will do my best to make every day a good one. And to make you feel loved - Even if I can never write one of those "pretty" mom to child letters.

I love you my girl and I hope you will one day know how much meaning 3 little words can hold

your Momma

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